Table Manners

I admit that when I'm eating food, I'll use pretty much any way to get it to my mouth that I find necessary or convenient, but the things people tell me to do instead are just arbitrary and I can't see any value in them. I try not to bite off pieces so big I can't chew with my mouth closed, but things like eating slabs of meat by cutting them up first I don't get. Nobody would care if you stick a porkchop between two pieces of bread and cut it with your front teeth. Take away the bread, put it on a plate, and give the eater a fork, and the rules inexplicably change. I just can't imagine a reason for it. It's more work to cut it up with a knife before cutting it up with your teeth anyways. If there was at least some consistent principle like "when you eat meat you should cut it up first", I'd find it tolerable. Making it dependent upon whether or not you call it a sandwich or a pork dinner is stupid.

Apparently it's also rude to question the reasoning behind table manners while eating.

Something that people usually bug me about is a way I eat extremely hot pizza. I basically put it on a plate, and hold the slice of pizza by holding the plate. The corners hang off and I drag the slice off the plate a bit when I get a bite. Aside from the plate, this is exactly how everyone eats pizza. Why is is rude when I use a plate? I don't fucking get it.

Also when food is of the annoying type that doesn't easily gather onto a fork or spoon or whatever utensil I have, I bring my mouth down to the plate or the plate up to my mouth. I don't know why that's considered rude.

I like to believe there's a reason behind everything but silly pointless shit like this exists and makes me wonder how stupid people are to think these rules that get in the way of eating are good ideas?

Why are people watching the way each other eat anyways? I mean, if you don't like the way I eat, why are you watching me? You've probably got your own food or the TV or something to look at.

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